Mothers and Daughters

Just a warning, I am standing on my 'soapbox', so turn back now if you don't want to hear my rant of the day. I have strong opinions, so read at your own risk. :)

I just watched this video, Mothers and Daughters, and had to share it. I watched a very disturbing episode of Oprah yesterday (the DVR recorded another episode for some reason). I won't go in to details, but despite all of the discussion I was very upset and surprised by the actions of the mother. She was basically the opposite of what a mother should reflect. She offered no love, support, encouragement and in this particular situation protection for any of her children.

I particularly like how Elder Ballard mentions what expectations we as women are presented with today. Pointing out how, women are often made to look silly, and objectified. Our roles, that we are divinely given, are continually undermined. Women seek guidance on how we should look, what we should wear etc. from people that really do not exist; they are a creation of many hair, makeup and clothing stylists. Their views and beliefs should really have no value to us at all, yet they lead us in so many ways.

I am no exception to this. I am no stranger to reality TV and what so-and-so is wearing; I live in Pop Culture like most of America. Now that I have Brynlynn though, I want something more for her. I want her to know and to always remember how beautiful she is and not to devalue herself because she doesn't look how E! says she should. To know that her body is sacred and that she doesn't have to flaunt it to get the attention of the opposite sex. I want her to enjoy and retain her childhood for as long as she can. The girls today seem to be dressing and doing more adult things younger and younger. They're really becoming just mini adults! Where did childhood go? 10 years don't play with dolls-they "play" on Facebook! I can't handle having my 9-10 year old being on Facebook and/or having a boyfriend! And despite what the "new parenting" rules may say, I won't allow my daughter to have either of those at such an early age. Everyone is entitled to "parent" how they want, but don't be surprised when this same girl is sexually active by/before the age of 15. Bold statement, I know, but true. I am fully aware that some parents today would say that children need to be able to express themselves, and make their own choices. Yes, I agree. I am in full support of free agency and the ability to choose for oneself. However, children/teenagers need direction. They need guidance. Thus, the number of choices that are available to them should be limited and filtered by the parents. The irony of this is, those kids that have more discipline as children/teenagers will be more appreciative to their parents once they are older. It won't feel that way as they are experiencing "no" over and over, but once they are old enough to understand they will be grateful. Further, those parents who value friendship with their child above being a parent and allow them to make their own choices, in all things no matter the consequences, shouldn't be surprised with the results they get. If you're going to make a cake you can't simply throw in any number of ingredients and expect the results depicted in the picture; there are certain elements that must be added with no exception. This doesn't always guarantee the exact result you were hoping for, but it increases those chances.

I realize that in order to truly teach her these things, I have to become that example for her. I don't intend to shelter her from the world and keep her locked in her room (at least not forever, just the first 16 years! ;)..jk), but I have to teach her the standards, morals, values, that I believe in. It's not going to be easy, especially when she argues (and if she's anything like her parents-she will argue, and she'll be good at it). Ultimately, her choices are her own. Looking at her now sleeping so peacefully, so perfectly innocent...I just have to. I have to be that mother, that example she needs. "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." David O. McKay.

Phew! Ok, I'm off now. Sometimes I just gotta get it out of my system.